January
31st 2007: ...And
still #1 at Hit21.com! Streaming Song Of The Day: Jojo - Too Little Too Late
Oh, ok, if you don't like pop, listen to this instead....proper
headbanging music!
So, yes, I am still
#1 at Hit21.com in this week's tournament. I must admit, I like being the
top player in a global tournament. Until now, and without the assistance of
my new project it is not somewhere I've ever been able to get to before. And
it works so well! I had a couple of challangers to deal with today, but within
10 hands, I was back at the top of the leaderboard. But, this said, I always
have one thing at the back of my mind. Something Andrei once said to me. No
matter how good you are, even if you're at the top of your game, there is
always someone better than you somewhere. And it's something that I cannot
help but keep in mind. Thing is, there is a prize for the number one player
every week. And it's supposed to be "amazing". I am guessing it
is, because one of the upstarts who tried to challange my position is a multiple
time tournament champion. I have a lot of respect for him. He's won by tens
of thousands in the past. BUT...to want to get the prize when you've already
won it...makes me think it's worth winning.
In other
news, I am still massively bored on my holiday. Had a nice chat with Alecita
last night, much sillyness ensued. Along with a very passionate session on
IMVU. Still don't have my development kit, but it's something I am working
on. Would be developing right now, but...the computer is being an arse at
the moment. Stupid errors like "download is corrupt" and "this
is not a valid win32 application". And then, joy of joys, Bearshare decided
to fuck up on me. How pleased was I? NOT. VERY. Especially when I came down
and Matt told me that some Clash stuff he had downloaded to replace a scratched
to buggery CD had downloaded so quickly. Yay him. Plus he went to see The
Pursuit Of Happyness (sic) today. I really want to see it.
But I did
get something productive done yesterday! Oh yes! The beta
version of Ale's site is ready. At the moment, I haven't installed the
payment processors, or the auction code, but that will be installed really
soon, then I'll go buy the domain and hosting, upload it, and we'll be all
ready for the PR storm I am about to bring upon the business. I know a lot
about internet marketing from the business point of view, so it should work
out really well.
Lastly, I
love my position as a great Blackjack player. And I love the reputation I
have as a great Blackjack player. Almost every week I get some casino or another
sending me a CD loaded with free money and a letter saying "please! please
play at our casino!" I duely do, and normally I lose. But I don't care,
because it was their money. So this week's shout out goes to All
Jackpots Casino. One thing does make me laugh though. They have a .co.uk
domain, but the CD was posted from Chicago. Anyway guys, the £15 credit
is much appriciated, and Project Smoke and I will be visiting you very soon
to try and make that £15 into a lot more! I also think that on Saturday
I am going to hit Blackjack Ballroom and take them up on their £500
and one hour to use it challange. Certainly tommorow I will be celebrating
my status as one of the world's greatest Blackjack players in true style.
You may not believe that claim, but I am sure that a freeroll with prizes
in a tournament spread over a week would attract some of the greatest players
in the world. Certainly some of the scores would suggest it. I mean, once
a guy posted a score 20,000 over the 2nd place person. Once I wondered how,
now I am pretty sure how it was done.
Right...so
that is all from me for today. As I plan to live it up big time tomorrow,
I will be taking my digital camera and posting photos.
Oh, and if
you want to rip the shit out of me for the song today, go ahead. I like it,
so I don't care.
January
30th 2007: Number One Baby!
So, for once in my life, I have got something RIGHT! I am running
a small experiment called Project Smoke. I am not going to explain the whys,
and hows of the project, merely gloat over what Project Smoke is capable of.
Observe.
If you click
on the image, you will see that in 15 hands, I got ranked NUMBER ONE in a
world Blackjack tournament. All due to Project Smoke. The tournament is a
freeroll, with the player ranked number one getting an "amazing"
prize when the tournament closes. I fully intend to win. Actually, I intend
winning often. Smoke will help me with this. Plus, it allows me to feed my
gambling obsession without damaging my bank balance. With the high chance
of getting a "nice, new shiny something on my desk" every week.
And big hugs
go out to Ale today. She was forced to quit her job yesterday because of her
dad. But we do have plans to go into business together selling her jewellery
online. I'm currently working on the site, which should be amazing by the
time it's finished. Naturally it'll be Web 2.0 compliant, plus will have one
or two other surprises. I'm going to launch an avalanche of PR and bits and
bobs for this site. There are a lot of things I can do for her, and for us,
and I fully intend to.
I'm also
going to put my two cents in on this argument about class in england today.
For a LONG time, I've observed our whole class going down the toilet. I had
fantastic awareness from a really young age, and in my 28 years on this earth,
I've seen class going downhill rapidly. People don't care anyone. There are
no boundries between law and lawless. When I was a kid, we respected the police,
you wouldn't dare say anything to them. At work, I see kids 10 years younger
than me making snide comments to the police. Practically to their faces.
Lastly, I
am going to make outrageous comment on Jo O'Mara, Danielle Lloyd, and Jade
Goody. Jo has had death threats. Good. She says that her life has been destroyed.
Good. She says she is feeling lower than she has ever been before. Fantastic.
I hope the wheels fall off her wagon big time. I will laugh my arse off when
she does. She says she's sorry. TOO. LATE. Danielle Lloyd has been dumped
by Teddy Sherringham. Hahahahahahahaha. Fantastic! Best news I have ever heard!
I hope no man touches her ever again. It will be 0.0000000000000000000001%
of what she deserves. Jade is now in rehab. What the fuck? Has she gone to
be cured of Chavism? Has she gone to stop being racist? Anger management?
Quit bullying in 7 easy steps? The best way I have heard Jade summed up is
"A pig faced waste of blood and organs". And now for the outrageous
bit. All three are in pieces. All three are are on the edge of possibily topping
themselves. And I really hope one of them does. Actually, I hope all three
do, because three less bullies in the world is a great thing.
And all three
could learn a thing or 50 from Shilpa. What a gracious winner. She had to
win, it was the only way to complete the story. Four women, all successful
in their own fields, against one superstar. And she defeated them not by anger,
not by rage, not by brute force, but by softly delivered put downs and being
the bigger person. For me, the part that still makes me smile is when Jade
was literally spitting with rage at Shilpa, unable to keep her temper in check,
and said "your claim to fame is being a fucking princess, good for you!
good for you!" and Shilpa softly replied with "And your claim to
fame is this, good for you". It silenced everyone but Jade who kept ranting
like a lunatic, and H even said he thought she'd gone to far by throwing Jade's
claim to fame in her face. Plus, how modest was Shilpa? Jade needed the backing
of her boyfriend, her mother, and her grandparents. Shilpa, when asked how
big she was in Bollywood and if she was their Julia Roberts kind of shrunk
back, went a deep shade of red and said "Actually, more like Angelina
Jolie". She was actually embarrassed of her status. How many British
or American celebrities can you name who are that modest about how rich, and
famous, and powerful they are? Juliette Lewis, maybe...ummmm....no...that's
the end of my list...
January
28th 2007: Notice
This site
is going to be rewritten (yes, again!) from the ground up using Web 2.0 technology.
Unlike "Professional" sites, this site will not be down. It will
remain up, and will be added to DAILY from now on. Hold on, it's going to
be a ride!
January 23rd 2007:
I have
a new toy!
I have a brand new toy, which will arrive on Thursday! A Tablet
PC! Not one of those flashy top of the range ones. One from about 5 years
ago, which is fine by me. It should be quite a good little workhorse actually.
January 23rd 2007:
Andrew Castle, You
are mighty! Streaming Song Of The Day: Ok, so you may be wondering who Andrew Castle is.
He's a presenter on GMTV. If you want to know what he looks like (so you can
slap him), he looks like this:
So why am I launching
a one man Google bomb on Andrew Castle? What can he have done to have deserved
his name to be trashed all over the biggest search engine in the world? Allow
me to explain:
Andrew Castle: "...scavengers,
if you can call them that, this activity is very popular in Devon and Cornwall.
In fact, there are some communities built around this activity."
FUCK. YOU. I've never
lived in Devon. Or Cornwall. But I holidayed there from about 5 to about 16.
It is a place very close to my heart. And you want to go on national TV and
trash it? Have you ever been there? Have you ever visited? DO YOU KNOW WHERE
IT IS? And don't say the pointy bit on the end of the map. Dickhead. I am
so angry... Why say it? Fucking Londoners. They have no concept of what the
country is like. I expect Andrew Castle believes Goblins and Faeries still
exist in Cornwall. I used to like him. I really did. I thought he was the
sensible one on GMTV. Him and Penny Smith, they seemed like the brains of
the operation. Sadly, I was wrong.
Oh, and I am angry about
last night too. Sort of. Got my photo taken by Podgey Katie Melua (yay!) and
she even reached up to turn a fan off, revealing her magnificent podge! Plus,
when I came into the bar, she leapt off the barstool to serve me, despite
there being a barman behind the bar. All very nice. BUT. Mike spent the night
looking at the clock. And at the time on his mobile phone. God that annoys
me. If you don't want to come out, say so! Don't come out and look bored for
the whole night! I even bought him food, and gave him a birthday present.
He stayed at mine for 10 minutes then buggered off. He doesn't even really
want to come out for my birthday. Sad huh? One of my few real world friends,
and he is kinda disinterested in me. But hey, I got many looks from the barmaid,
and much service from her, so I was pretty happy.
And I must tell you about
a wonderful thing I have found. It's called IMVU. It's very cool. Think MSN
Messenger but in 3D, with avatars you can dress up, and credits you can earn
to make yourself look even cooler. I've signed up for the developer programme,
so I can add my own objects into the world. And they are going to be stunning.
At the moment, the graphics look something akin to a bad Toy Story film. I'm
going to start work on making my character look like something out of a Final
Fantasy film. The intention being that I really want to go to work for this
company, and if I can make really cool, good looking, innovative stuff, they
offer the elite coders a contract. And the things I have planned are going
to really kick ass. Oh, and a big shout out goes to Star
on IMVU for giving me a very cool magic carpet scene for free, and some inspiration!
Such a nice community. Peope who can afford to give stuff away to newbies,
do. I might give away some of my clothes I got given by default. So not me.
These things are real chav clothes!
January 21st 2007:
Obsession
got the better of me! Streaming Song Of The Day:
So...for the last few days I have been missing. Sorry! I've
been off testing a new theory of mine as it applies to Blackjack. Yes, I know
we've all been here before. And I know I lost...but this is very
different. I found my perfect table! £1 minimum bet, £1000 maximum
bet. It allows my original theory FAR more room to breathe. Twice as much
in fact. And tomorrow, I play for real cash at a casino which has extended
me a personal invitation. £500, and one hour to test my system. What
I win, I keep. What I lose, that is their problem. Naturally, I accepted,
looked around, quite a nice place they have there. The tables aren't stacked
too heavily against the players (sometimes a problem, mention no names...GAMEACCOUNT.COM).
Now, some may find that last outburst extreme. No. I went there to play, to
check out their seemingly very nice Blackjack Freerolls. Pah. First, you can
only bet a minimum of £100 and a maximum of £1000, and only in
multiples of £100. Apart from the casino, precisely WHO does this benefit?
Tell me how to bet? Fuck you. In addition, play their free game (don't register
for a real money game. Just leave, then login) and you will find that the
dealer gets a really quite amazing number of 10s. If you play Blackjack regularly,
you will know this is a bastard of a card for the dealer to get if you are
the player. Your only real hope is a 16 or 17. And if you get higher than
a 12, your chances are pretty slim.
You see, I know this game
inside out and backwards. I play perfect advanced strategy every time. I first
learnt to play this game as a kid of about 12, stopped (because no-one told
me you could play for money!) and then found it again about 15 years later.
Now I am going into it harder than ever before. Really pushing the limits
of what I can do. Hour long sessions. Playing for up to 3 hours a day. And
at my new favourite place, I am winning big huge piles of money. Ok...monopoly
money, but do you think I am stupid? At some point, I will play for real cash,
but that is FAR away. I'm going to slowly and quietly save up some money,
put it into my ISA, and watch it grow. Then when the account is big enough,
I will put it into this online gambling venture, and see if I can replicate
my results. I may also have a small flutter for real cash. See if I can make
some small dent in the casino, make some small winnings and contribute these
also to my business fund. Because...you see...this is a business. Or at least
it needs to be viewed as such. This is what the professionals do. And this
is what seperates them from your average, regular joe gambler.
January 17th 2007:
Gotta love
my luck! Streaming Song Of The Day: Escape - Enrique Iglasias
Streaming Song Of The Day: George Micheal - Amazing
So...I escaped a bollocking from Pete. He didn't show for my
meeting. And if he doesn't show today, I won't see him for 2 weeks. Almost
3 actually.
And I rediscovered one
of the most potent sources of energy in the known world. Dr Pepper. I forgot
how hyper it makes me. 100 ambient cases finished in an hour and a half. Then
went and helped Malcolm and Andrei with their chilled. Then had my break and
had another can of the stuff...and put all the papers out, put out all the
Ginsters bobs, and the bread. And the cakes. And changed two promo ends. Then
went home. Still buzzing. If any of you have seen Crank, I was like him when
he gets out the lift. If you haven't seen Crank, may I suggest you look here.
Cos it is very very good indeed. Silly ending, but great apart from
that.
And apart from that, my
life is very very dull. Had another wonderful phone call with my fianceé.
At the moment, we seem so close.
But I do want to comment
on the whole Big Brother thing. For those who don't know, there is a huge
Bollywood star in there called Shilpa Shetty, and she is quite stunning. Then
there is Jade "Fat Ugly Pig" Goody, Danielle "I won Miss UK
because I fucked the judge" Lloyd, and Jo "I used to be famous 5
years ago, but since then, I ate all the pies" O'Mara. Two out of three
of these women are fat, ugly, common, disgusting, whores. They mock Shilpa's
accent. They mock her background. They mock her cooking. And they out and
out bully her. You know what? It's racism, pure and simple. And Jade is acting
like she rules the house. Oh, and now she has come out with "You know
what? Shoot me in me pissin' head". I wish someone would. And then turn
the gun on Danielle and Jo. Ignorant fucks. I hope they get kicked out, then
charged with hate crimes. If they do, I would laugh my fucking head off.
January 15th 2007:
Another
bad day Streaming Song Of The Day: Burn In My Light - Mercy Drive
So, this morning I get a bollocking from Pete for not working
hard enough on Saturday, and some stuff getting wasted from the chiller. Which
annoyed me. Because I did 100 cases an hour AGAIN. Two Saturdays in a row
I've done this. And it's annoying that I am getting punished for it. Hence
the song. But, I have another meeting with Pete on Wednesday morning, one
with Andrei and Me and Pete. It's going to be good.
You see, it's all part
of my new outlook on life. A "Never Say Die" attitude. If people
beat me down, I'll get back up. If things go wrong, I'll start over. And if
someone tries to destroy me, I won't let them. Whatever happens.
But, I had a stunning
chat with Ale this morning. Really picked me up. We're so suited. Because
we can be having a huge, deep and meaningful conversation, a real heart to
heart, and then, in a split second, just decend into sillyness. We can laugh
at the silliest things together, and feel a real close connection, despite
being seperated by 5000 miles. And I cannot wait until May when I plan to
go over there, snuggle against her in her bed, and spend our days together.
So...now I have to go
to work. And I am going to keep my head up. Because now, no-one can stop me,
no-one can get me down. And if I want to get something, people had better
stay out of my way because to quote Haemoglobin by Placebo "You've never
seen such perserverance"
January 13th 2007:
Bad Day Streaming Song Of The Day: Nickelback ft Kid Rock - Saturday
Night's Alright For Fighting
I am not having a good day today. I get into work, and immediately
Andrei is in a bad mood with me. I have no idea why. Probably just him trying
to be more of a cock than normal. But then he had to go and make it personal
didn't he? Ponytail Chris (who I am tolerating lately) pushed a meat dolly
into a load of milk dollys. Because this meat dolly was stacked with 25 CASES,
the milk dollys went everywhere. Most, on the floor. Now bearing in mind I
am standing a good 20 feet away from the meat dolly, and about 25 feet from
the milk dollys, Andrei turns to me and literally yells "You wanna watch
where you're going once in a while?" So I snapped. I have had just about
enough of him being a cunt to me. I've tried to make peace, I've tried to
be nice, but if he wants war, he's got it. So I turned and said calmly "I
was nowhere near it. You want to try getting the right person once in a while.
Jesus, no wonder Laura bollocked you for not being able to do your job properly."
And then Alex...lovely,
sweet, innocent Alex who has also become a bastard of late had a go at me.
After leaving 10 minutes after my shift should have actually ended, and making
sure there were some of each paper out, and leaving just one bundle of Daily
Mails out, he tells me that my attitude is unacceptable. Why? Because I wouldn't
stay behind and finish the papers. The fact that I spent 10 minutes doing
the papers when I should have been out the back smoking is irrelevant.
So...I come home, sit
down, play Roulette, and lose. THEN...to add to my already smoothly flowing
day, I get shouted at for not putting some clothes away, and in an additional
low blow, I get told by my mother that I'd never cope if I lived on my own.
Thank you for rubbing that fact in my face. I'm not already highly aware of
this fact. The fact that drives a stake through my heart every waking moment
that I have.
Because...I am more than
aware that I am dependent on people. I'm dependent on Pete honouring a 3 year
old agreement made by people who have probably moved on now for me keeping
my job. I'm dependent on my parents to wake me, because nothing else can.
And I am also dependent on them to look after me, and make sure I'm ok, because
I can't manage it on my own. And it kills me. I have friends with their own
homes, and yes, they struggle, but they make it. And I look at them, and I
envy them. Maybe they have debts. Maybe they struggle to pay the bills. But
they make it. They find a way. I couldn't do that, and I am painfully aware
of that fact. I'm aware that if I lost my job, sued Pete, and won, and got
a big payout, it would be irrelevant, because though I could rent a house
of my own...I'd never make it on my own. I'd need help.
Right...found this on
a friend's blog and thought it was worth a shot. I need a laugh, so here goes:
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE,
WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and alot of the songs fit with
the setting.
Opening Credits: Paul
Oakenfold - Sex Drive (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Waking Up: The Ramones - Spiderman Theme
First Day At School: Jamie Cullum - I Could Have Danced All Night (Jamie!
You let me down!)
Falling In Love: Eminem - Just Lose It (oh lord, I know I have bad taste but...)
Fight Song: Anastacia - One Day In Your Life (finally it starts fitting!)
Breaking Up: Seal - Fly Like An Eagle
Prom: Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams (apt)
Life: Radiohead - Pyramid Song
Mental Breakdown: Maroon 5 - Tangled (hahahahahahahahahahaa)
Driving: Radiohead - Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong
Flashback: DJ Shadow - What Does Your Soul Look Like?
Getting back together: Queen - Another One Bites The Dust (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!)
Wedding: Placebo - Teenage Angst (so me!)
Birth of Child: Paul Van Dyk - Tell Me Why
Final Battle: Miss Jane - It's A Fine Day (ATB remix)
Death Scene: Placebo - Every You, Every Me (I swear to god this is random,
yet fitting!)
Funeral Song: George Micheal - Faith
End Credits: Daniel Beddingfield -Nothing Hurts Like Love
Hmmmmm...well that didn't
really work, but it did give me a few laughs! Hope it made you giggle too.
Why not record your giggling!
January 13th 2007:
Ugly Betty?
Time for me to publicly display my lack of taste. Can someone
explain why Ugly Betty is ugly? She has glasses. So what? Glasses are sexy.
She has braces. So what? Who cares? She has podge...mmmmmmmm...podge... Personally,
I think she's cute. America Ferrera is cute too, even without the Ugly Betty
gear. And seemingly the podge is real!
Very cute woman. I'd have
her. Funny thing is...everyone is going nuts over her! Personally...I think
the reason is because the real woman behind Ugly Betty doesn't look "as
bad" as Betty. Most people aren't into podgey women...so you figure it
out...
January 12th 2007:
The redesign! Streaming Song Of The Day: Someday
- Nickelback
So...you might have noticed that the blog looks a bit different
today. I've decided to go minimalist with it. There is a reason for this.
Firstly, I do not think Web 2.0 HAS to be flashy. I think it can be understated
too. Web 2.0 is not a look. It's a technology. So...I am working towards that.
Cramming as much social and Web 2.0 technology into this blog as possible.
Last night was a blast!
Went to Yates, The Hogshead, and then Que Pasa. We eventually left at 1:30am.
It was a great night. I finally went to bed at 10am, after drinking some more,
and then staying up late and talking to Ale. We had a lot of fun at the bar.
Anyone who goes to Southampton, I highly recommend Que Pasa as a place to
drink.
Oh, and one other stunning
piece of news! I am one step closer to officially being a Lord! You may think
it is a silly thing, but I like the idea of being a Lord! I have my deed sitting
in my office as we speak, now I just need to send the registration card back
to the processing office, and I become a Lord. Once I get my designated registration
number, I am a Lord. Officially. I cannot wait. I will post a photo when the
deed is completed. This said...I need someone with stunning handwriting to
fill it out. Wonder if I can find a friendly calligrapher...
Lastly...please welcome the latest bit of kit on Jack's Blog. Voice commenting!
Be heard!
9th January
2007: Bit hyper...bit all over the place... Streaming Video Of The Day: Sleeper - Sale Of The Century
Right...I am angry. Why? RUTH KELLY. God that woman annoys me. She is sending
her Dyslexic son to a private school. She says he has severe learning difficulties
and this is in his best interests.
NO. IT. IS. NOT!
Let me tell you something
Miss Kelly. You are about to ruin that kid. As someone who has overcome
a hell of a lot as a result of his own learning difficulties, you are about
to enter a car crash zone. I HATED even going to Cub Camp. That was for
a few days, and I refused to stay overnight. You're not about to just throw
the fact that his mother won't be around to support him (something important
to us), but you are going to change EVERYTHING. Do you
have even the slightest idea precisely what this is going to do to him?
I'm guessing he has few friends, and those he does have will have taken
a long time to make, because trust is all when comes to us. So you're taking
that away from him. Well done there. Plus, minor change is bad. I remember
as a kid, about the same age as hers actually, even changing the place we
went on holiday was traumatic for me.
Plus, her "plan"
sucks. She wants to move him to a private school, just for a "couple
of years" then move him back into mainstream. DO NOT DO THIS. I am
not anti "special schools". I went to one. Briefly. Before I was
thrown out for growing mold in another kid's cupboard. I loved it. Those
were the only 2 weeks I actually enjoyed at school. However. When I went
back to mainstream, I was teased, the bullying intensified. It was hell.
I won't detail what I did for escapism...suffice to say it was not good,
it was highly self destructive, and I am not proud of it. And if you think
you know what I am on about, you do not. I have told no-one what I did because
quite frankly, I am ashamed. But hey Miss Kelly...you go do that. You go
trash the life of your kid. Cos if you think a meltdown over a small thing
is bad. Wait until you change EVERYTHING! It's gonna be a blast seeing your
nervous breakdown detailed in the papers! And I for one can not fucking
wait.
And work sucked last
night. I had a fantastic chat with Tizz before I went in, and I was all
happy, skippy, at one with the world. Only my closest friends can do that
to me. And I'd like to regard Tizz as one of the closest of my close friends.
My trust in her is boundless, and there are only 3 other people in the world
I can say that about.
So anyway...I go in,
say to Malcolm "small delivery, I asked james if it would be and he
said yes, because nightshift were shit enough, without big deliveries to
contend with". His reply. With a straight face - "well, you give
him the ammunition for these things". Bam. That put me in a bad mood.
No. Actually. A dark, vengeful mood. So I made a coffee. Not too bad I might
hear you cry. Except I have run out of Guarana. It is what makes me hyper
in the drug I take. And is chemically different from Coffee. Coffee without
Guarana makes me...unbalanced. It makes my bipolar-ism FAR worse. Less Manic
Depressive, more Manic Vengeful. So, I was putting stuff on the shelves,
very happy, very content, Malcolm would say something to me, and out comes
my vengeful side. Why do people do this? I actually wanted ONE NIGHT where
I could be just chilled, just relaxed, no stress. But no. He had to wind
me up. So I was dark and brooding all night.
Right...now I am off
to go gamble, then drink a beer or two, take drugs, then slee like a log.
Oh...and this blog will
be changing today or tomorrow...so keep an eye out!
6th January
2007: So...as I believed to be true...
I just had a very interesting chat with my mother. I say interesting...
I don't know what I mean, because my mind is currently trying to settle
after the assault that is my parents arguing, followed by me trying to explain
to them what it feels like when they argue. Her caring, sensitive, understanding
reply? "Oh fuck off".
As I believed to be
true. They don't know how it feels to be me when they argue. Also, they
neither care nor have any intention of finding out how it feels. Ironic
really. After spending years trying to mimic, understand, and be "normal",
when it dawns on you that you should be you...you realise...the reverse
isn't true. The neurotypical world actually isn't interested in knowing
what it feels like to be neurodiverse. Why would they? It doesn't affect
them.
I am not having a good
day.
6th January
2007: Oh, fun! Listening To: Here Comes The Money - Naughty By Nature
Streaming Song Of The Day: I Predict A Riot - Kaiser Chiefs
Song That Sums Up How I Feel Today: Infra Red - Placebo
Last night was a lot of fun. Tried something new out, a new fragrance of
my own design. My god did it ever work! I had the two barmaids buzzing around
me, attending to my every whim, and the cute, podgey Katie Melua lookalike
hanging around me all night, sneaking glances. Now, I may be an engaged
man, but it certainly doesn't the night go with a swing when you have pretty
young things wanting to be with you! Especially when I am almost 28 and
feeling it.
Then this morning, well,
this afternoon cos it was at about 1:30pm, my brother gets a visit from
a little weedy man in a bad suit. Imagine a colour between grey and green,
that's the colour this suit was. Essentially, this guy was a "representative"
of the baliffs for BT, sorry O2. Let me tell you about him. He threatened
my brother with breaking into a house that he didn't own, and smashing the
place up. Silly boy. In effect, I am this house's security system. If someone
I do not know even steps inside my room, I wake, in a very bad mood. I do
not understand how it works, but it does. So imagine the mood I'd be in
if I heard the door smashed in. Because that's what he threatened us with.
Yes. O2's man threatened us with breaking and entering. Not to mention intimidation
and trespass. Silly silly boy. I want to see them try. Wait until a 6 foot,
220 pound guy wearing all black, with steel toe cap "slippers"
in a bad mood meets up with them.
I should actually mention
something Andrei said to me once. And my reply. He once asked if I always
had to dress like some kind of demon and how I could be christian when I
dressed like something evil. My reply? "I may dress like a demon, but
that doesn't mean I'm down with the devil"
I also had an entertaining
experience at the casino today. I was trying out a more complete version
of my new system. And it was working. Very nicely in fact. Y'see, I found
a table with no minimum bet, and a $10 million maximum bet. Perfect for
my new system. Because the idea is to hit the table limit. Thereby breaking
the table. This appeals. A lot. So I was playing, winning, enjoying my jaunt.
Then, the virtual equivilent of being thrown out happens:
"A
connection to the gaming server could not be found, please log in again"
I am sure
that it wasn't anything to do with the fact that I had a nice progression
on low begining to take ahold. By the way, I finished the book the system
came from. A very entertaining read. And the ending was fantastic. Someone
has to make that a film. It would whup Oceans Eleven. Or Twelve. or Thirteen.
It's the kind of book that makes you want more. You want to read whether
or not he took the offer he was given at the end of the book. He turned
it down initially, and the last words are: "And the thing that haunts
me is 'Why not?' ". Plus the ending is very insightful. he describes
the difference between American and European and French Roulette, how it
would affect the system, and what you'd need to be able to do to make it
work in Vegas. Interesting for me because I am going to what will probably
be an americanesque casino in a few months. I'm actually in the baby step
stages of putting together a "group" to play this system. I think
it would be quite amusing to take my motley crew of gamblers down to a London
Super Casino and rob them blind!
This said,
I have next New Year's Eve sorted. I am going to London, to The Hilton Casino.
Free entry, free food, free drink, themed party, and gambling. Obviously,
I'd be playing Roulette...but at The Hilton! It's going to be the highlight
of what I am determined will be my year. Well...ok...if everything goes
to plan, perhaps the sub-highlight.
Oh, please
leave comments...do you prefer these new streaming music things or the old
ones? I think these are a bit funkier and flashier! Tags: Roulette, Intimidation, Gambling, Books
5th January
2007: Resolutions
1: To start and stay looking good and not like a sheepdog with a goatee
2: To dress my way, and ignore what people may think
3: To lose a bit of weight. Nothing drastic, just a stone or two.
4: To cut down my smoking with a view to quitting
5: To travel, alone
6: To sleep for at least 6 hours a day, regularly, at the same time each
day
7: To spend less on crap I don't actually need
8: To get my new business venture off the ground and making money
5th January
2007: First Friday of the year
Ok, so I am resurrecting the Friday Singalong Song. Aka Friday Karaoke as
I am now calling it. The songs may not be well known, but they are cool.
Oh, and I am reverting the old format. Mainly because that worked.
Artist: Chris Cornell Song: You Know My Name
If you take a life do you know what you'll give?
Odds are, you won't like what it is
When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me?
By the merciless eyes of deceit?
I've
seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line
Arm yourself
because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest
blood runs through my veins
You know my name
If you
come inside things will not be the same
When you return to the night
And if you think you've won
You never saw me change
The game that we all been playing
I've
seen diamonds cut through harder men
Than you yourself
But if you must pretend
You may meet your end
Arm yourself
because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest
blood runs through my veins
Try to
hide your hand
Forget how to feel
Forget how to feel
Life
is gone with just a spin of the wheel
Spin of the wheel
Arm yourself
because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest
blood runs through my veins
You know my name
You know my name
You know my name
You know my name
You know my name
You know my name
You know my name
Reason
for this song? I think it should be my theme tune. It fits me very well.
Ask anyone who has worked with me, or works with me now. "The coldest
blood runs through my veins, you know my name".
Had a wierd
night out. Went to Yates Southampton where the JD and Coke tasted decidedly
off. So we went to The Hogs Head. Had to leave there early. No idea why.
Then we went to a latin bar. No latin ladies (shame!) and got thrown out
at 12:30am by the rudest doorman in the world! We were sitting in a nice,
quiet, empty room with tiger stripe furnature, and plasma screens of girls
jiggling their bits, and a barman came across and said "sorry lads,
we're closing up, could you move downstairs?" So we said it was no
problem, went downstairs, and drank. FOR 30 SECONDS. Then this musclebound
blonde gorilla in a coat identical to mine came over and said "can
you drink up guys?" so we said "yeah, sure" nicely. His reply?
"yeah, I mean now, then leave!" What a complete and utter fucking
cunt. The bar is calle Que Pasa. Their flyer says "Thursdays 9pm -
2am, the weekend starts here". No it does not. The weekend ends when
Gus the mong can't be fucking arsed to do his job, so throws everyone out.
Cos he is a cock. We were having a nice night there, AND they charged us
two quid to get in. Fucking prick.
This said,
is largely irrelevant soon. My experimentations in Roulette are progressing
nicely. I am up to £239 as I write this at 7am. Again, play money,
but that's required. Unless I test this rigerously, I will not know if it
works. Signs say it will, but, I have had systems swallow money before.
Once it works, I can go make a nice little second income doing that, and
basically relax.
And I hate
my ability to heal. Way too potent. I am hungover. I stopped drinking TWO
HOURS AGO! Acually...I got the edge of a hangover on the second round at
the Salsa club. When I stopped drinking double JD and Cokes. I've never
known it kick in this fast or violently before. Suppose it's a good sign
though. And possibly explains why the cold/flu/skive epidemic at work cannot
touch me.
Right,
am off to down a handful of drugs to combat this hangover, then I must sleep!
4th January
2007: Love technology and my sidelines
I love technology! I have signed up with Skype. I can call my fianceé
for about the same as I could with a prepay card, BUT, the line is always
crystal clear because of one or two technical enhancements I made. Something
I can't do with landline technology. PLUS, I now have a VoIP phone number.
Could be interesting...
For those interested,
my Roulette winnings are now up to a rather healthy £182. Since New
Year's Eve. Again, just play money, but damn... 5 days of playing has earned
me almost the same as I make at work in a week. Prolly the same taking out
tax. Cos the beauty of being a gambler is...TAX FREE INCOME! Hahahaha. If
you wanna know my system, I'm not telling. Sorry, normally would...but...well...this
is secret stuff. It works well on Blackjack, Roulette, Baccarat, everything.
Ok, not everything. Though I heard it's extremely good on Blackjack and
Baccarat. I may have to dig out my old Baccarat software and try it. Then
thump Joyland. May promote their wares, but they cost me some cash, and
I want it back. And I will get it back too. Just...having too much fun taking
another casino for a ride. To the point where I am "almost" banned.
The more I win, the longer the casino takes to load, and the less responsive
it is. I have plans, I assure you, and them of that. I'm aiming to make
my winnings for the week around £282. I am not greedy you see. With
the system, I aim to rake in about £1400 a month. Healthy, yes. Greedy,
nah. The guy I learned from won £1.3 million at a casino in 3 months.
What earthly use would I have for that much? Oh, and I can vouch for his
system. It's famous in england. Or was. Ask older relatives. They'd know
exactly what I am talking about. I had to ask Fred to find someone who remembered.
Once I told him the specifics, he said "Oh! Yes! I remember him! Greedy
little bastard!"
3rd January
2007: My world is going to shit
So, after offending dear friends, my next task in my world is to make everyone
at work hate me. Check. Malcolm hates me with a passion I've only ever seen
him show towards Marcus and Ben and Jason. Andrei, being the faithful lil
puppy dog he is, also hates me.
The only thing I have
left good in my life is my Roulette. It's going startlingly well. Whilst
at the same time scaring the crap out of me. So far I have made £158
in play money in 4 days. Today is the first day I've been playing properly.
And that made me £62. Not bad huh?
1st January 2007: Rewritten
Ok, so this morning this entry began differently. I made assumptions based
on very bad decisions *I* made. Hence the begining being deleted, and replaced
by this -
I'm sorry for what I
wrote this morning. I went off on one, based on assumptions, and you didn't
deserve that. Things you've told me since then have put things in perspective,
and I'm sorry. It's up to you whether or not you can, or want to forgive
me. And the things you've said since I wrote what I wrote this morning were
right. And I wasn't being fair. I respect you too much as a person, and
as a valued friend to lose you over a misunderstanding like this.
And work pissed me off too. You see...I was the only person who did any
fucking work last night. Malcolm worked the chiller, the beers, and the
spirits. Chris worked the paper returns and the cigarettes. I did the drinks,
the tins, the pet food, the household, the tea/coffees, the crisps, the
cereals, the biscuits and the wines. Plus I faced up the whole store pretty
much. Malcolm also did the milk and the bog rolls, before he gets on his
high horse. And my reward for such endevours? Leniancy from a seemingly
hungover Laura (many strokes to Laura for letting me smoke, and our little
remenise) and being treated like shit by Malcolm.
So...I have my own little
new years resolution. From now on, I spare no-one. If you're in the way
of what I want, get out of the way, or get trashed. I am looking after number
one from now on, and no-one else. If you are in my circle of interests,
great, you get my protection. If you are not, and you fuck me off, stay
out of my way. This applies doubly at work. Because I have been far too
nice, for far too long, and not got one iota of credit for working consistently
hard. So my days of being nice, and tolerant, and friendly are gone. And
considering things I have discovered in the last two days, this is going
to be a very easy resolution to keep.
Oh, and for those who
are interested, my little escapades into Roulette are progressing marvelously.
£24 pure profit and counting. Some may pooh pooh this as small change.
I do not care. That was made from 2 sessions, both lasting about 5 minutes.
And would have been achieved faster if I had known things I didn't know
until this morning. I have two weapons in this war against casinos. And
I seriously doubt anyone has had the smarts to put these two things together.
And if they do, they won't, because there is seemingly an obsticle in the
way. Nearly threw me too, until I applied some 180 point IQ to the situation
and saw that the way past it was obvious.
Bragging? Yes. With
reason. And only one person in this whole damned world is going to know
that reason.
Right...off to bed.
See you all tomorrow.
Tags: Betrayal, Anger, Lazy workmates, New Years Resolutions, Roulette
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