July 2006 Archive

31st July 2006: Four months and one day until the end of the year. I sleep WAY too much, seems like yesterday it was 2005
Listening To: Rolling Stones - It's only rock and roll but I like it
Streaming Song Of The Day: Fluke - Zion (From the bit in The Matrix 2 or 3 where Trinity and Neo have sex)

Ok, I apologise for this bit of randomness, but I have to get this out of my head, because it's been in there for the last 48 hours, and it's starting to drive me a lil nuts

To be sung to the tune of Behind Blue Eyes
"No-one knows what it's like
To be a dustbin
With hooligans
In Shaftsbury
On a Friday night"
Bill Hicks - Arizona Bay CD

Sorry about that. it's been in my head ever since I first heard it.To the point where I've been getting wierd looks at work because I've been singing it.

And on the subject of work...Chris is a fucking moron who needs to be shot! Malcolm isn't helping matters by letting Chris do the Ambient. Three cages of Ambient came in, and one cage of Wellingborough. Along with 4 cages of chilled, 2 of produce and a Dolly (no, that's really what they're called) of meat. So I worked 2 and a half cages of chilled in an hour and three quarters. I was impressed. Then I go see what dipshit Chris has done. One cage. ONE FUCKING CAGE! Actually, I lie. He did the crisps first (for the love of God, how often I must I tell him to do them last before he actually fucking listens?) then he worked half a cage of Ambient. Most of which was stationary, which he had to ask what to do with because he's a complete and utter fucking retard. I mean...this guy was looking for horseradish sauce in the jam section. He seriously thought it went there. What else did the fuck do? Hmmm...oh, that's right...he took an hour to work the 10p sweets. This is a job that takes 20 minutes tops. It took him so long because he's so fucking stupid that he can't match what's written on the box to what's written on the shelf label in less than 5 minutes per box.

Revenge is sweet. Kev made him do the milk. At five to seven. When he hasn't done the milk before. I was so happy. He'd finished one milk cage in 15 minutes. Plus, Pete hinted to me that Krystian will be fired for being a bastard and stitching us all up. Haha. Good. And Hugh came in. Still a bullshitter. He reckons he's earning more in a week than he was in a month in his new job. Really? So, he thinks he's gone from shelfstacker, to kitchen porter, to barman, to binman, to a job that pays over £52,000 a year? Plus, he's so idiotic with his lies. I told him I've been following his "exploits" in the papers. Basically, he slept with a married woman, husband tried to stab him, and instead beat him senseless. Now, he tells me that actually he wasn't there that week. Funny, because in the paper, it said he (he's got a distinctive name, it was him) was suing for his injuries and the damage to a £50 t-shirt. So, how the hell is he going to claim for this "£50" t-shirt when he wasn't even here when it happened? I think this is one time that Hugh's lies are going to come back and bite him in the arse this time. All it will take is for one person to say "Your honour, Hugh reckons he wasn't even there..." and bang bang "Case dismissed! Next!"

So...what for today? Well...I got an e-mail a week ago, which I only discovered today. iTunes are revoking my right to sell MP3s from their site from this site. Their reasons? "Insufficient trafic, lack of a comprehensive privacy policy, the site does not fit in with Apple's content, design or message, and has links to competitor services". Yeah? So? Fuck you Apple. I tried to play nice. I tried doing things legitimately, but you just didn't want to cooperate did you? Fine. We'll do things MY way. I was trying to make you some revenue whilst making a bit for me too. But hey ho. Anyone who clicks on the song of the day text will now be able to download that song for free and for gratis.

Legal bit:
The law says you can keep a song for 24 hours unless you own a recording of it already, otherwise, you have to delete it after 24 hours. I have no sway in what my users do or do not do with the downloaded files once they click the link, that's their call, not my problem.

Right, I have to sleep. I need to text Mike aka Mr Daniels today to see if he's up for going down to The Tripp tomorrow night for a few cheeky glasses of exceptionally good red wine, then back to mine to watch some exceptionally good visual entertainment.


28th July 2006: Ouch
Watching: Law Of The Playground
Well...things are very different today. My feet hurt like hell. To the point where I can barely actually walk. Last night I had plasters all over my feet just to make it to the end of the shift. Funnily enough, I'm not working tonight. Possibly because standing is agony. I'd never make it through an 8 hour shift with Andrei and Chris. Alex was such a love when I called in. He said he totally understood my not being able to work and he'd pass the message onto Andrei. I bet he'll be there going "In Romania, we work even if we have no legs or no arms, BECAUSE WE ARE MACHINES!"

27th July 2006: Feeling better
Watching: Bad Girls (always had a thing for Amanda Donohoe!)
Streaming Song Of The Day: Another Girl, Another Planet - The Only Ones

So, after a nice long sleep, and some anti depressants, I feel a lot better. Still pissed off about Andrei. How dare he get arsey with me after all the efforts I made last night. He can pay for that. No coffee for me tonight. Just tea. Mellows me out. Kind of like "anti-coffee" to me!

Oh, I put the song on today because it's so cool! It's on an advert for Vodafone (I think).

Plus I'm happier because I got an e-mail from the account manager at an information broker I contacted yesterday. If all goes well, my business should skyrocket. To the point where I'm planning on hiring Matt to do some data entry work for me. Here's hoping anyway! The advantage of this new business is that it's stable, it's not going to dry up anytime soon. Plus the oppertunities for expansion are virtually limitless. Purely because what I'd consider a vast number of contacts, this company would consider a tiny order. I'm actually really excited about this. It could give me the lifestyle I want.


27th July: Feelin' like shit
Listening To: Nothing
So, yesterday I almost got hit by lightning. Damnit...why were the people across the street lucky enough to get hit and not me! There were sparks, the works. That could and should have been me! I want out. But, due to my religious beliefs, I cannot commit suicide. Nice one huh? My life is a mess, and to be honest, I just want it all to stop. Work is shite. My love life is a car crash. My business is a laughable failure. And my so called best friend doesn't even know my number.

I would just like to say, that Andrei is quite possibly the worst night shift person we have ever had. 126 chilled. Fuck all. Between two of them. Hell, Malcolm even did the produce, meat and sandwiches for him. How long did it take Mr Android to do the chilled? TWO FUCKING HOURS! He might act like a machine, but he certainly doesn't fucking act like one. Prick. And then. Get this. he has the nerve to turn around to me at 6:30am and say "right, half an hour. Let's get this finished." At this point, I snapped mentally. I went on a go slow. With Malcolm's help, he'd managed to do 126 chilled, and the crisps. IN THREE AND AFUCKING HALF HOURS! And the best bit is, most of the crisps were multipacks. Cock. In this time, I had done all the ambient (240 cases) and half the Wellingborough (about 80 cases) And I didn't even get a thank you. I actually got "See you tonight. Just you and me. God, what did I do so wrong to deserve that?" Fuck him. Fuck his stupid Romanian arrogance. He can have mellow me for the next two nights. I don't give a damn anymore. Mellow, chilled out, slow as shit me. He wants to take advantage, fine. He can suffer. I'll make his shifts look like shit. The speed I do things at is a privilidge, not a right. I think Somerfield need to learn that. I've been "doing my best" for the last two years, and getting sod all praise for it. Malcolm was sniping at me all night last night. If he'd told me I couldn't have a break, I'd have been long gone.

I've just about had it with everything. My life is falling apart in front of me, and no-one seems to care. Or even notice it's happening.

26th July 2006: Snake Oil Sellers
Listening To: Nothing
Streaming Song Of The Day:
So, I get a call today, probably because I'm the only one who hasn't answered the phone to these shysters. They were offering me a cure for my Autism. When I told them I wasn't interested, they accused me of being put in the situation of "being offered the cure for cancer and saying 'not interested' " Fuck them. Autism isn't deadly. Maybe I'll call 'em back when I get lung cancer from smoking and then buy their "cure for cancer". Apparently it's excersises. So, they told me to go look on their site again for more information. I didn't. What I did do was look up their crappy little project on Wikipedia. Turns out, the Dyslexia and Dyspraxia associations won't give them a gold seal of approval. That they believe the science underpinning this isn't proven.

So, how much does the Autistic Cure cost? £1500 or $3000. I'm sorry. If a gym offered membership for £1500 a year (the treatment takes a year) they'd be bankrupt. Oh, and that's the other thing. It's founded by a millionaire who claims he doesn't want to make a profit from it. What the fuck? A businessman who doesn't want to turn a profit? Bullshit. Besides, if he didn't want to turn a profit, why is it that if the treatment fails, you only get back 80% of your money? Hmmmm?

I'm also not a fan of salesman (sorry, he's not a salesman, he's an evangelist) who use their family as their sales pitch. How fucking low do you have to go to tell a potential customer how wonderfully it's worked on your son? Detailing things that he couldn't do before that he can do now. I don't want to hear it. Moreover, I don't want to know about people who've been cured. Sure as hell, if I had an Autistic son or daughter, I'd wait until they were a little older than EIGHT to ask them if they wanted a cure. This being said, I'm not exactly going to be painting it as a life sentance either.

"Yes, it's terrible. I hate being creative. I hate having a higher than average IQ. I hate the fact that when I write, there are no words in my head, just a movie of what I'm writing. And I really hate the fact that when I read, it's like watching a DVD."

I want to point something out here. I watched the DaVinci Code last night. Well. 20 minutes of it. I couldn't take any more than that. Why? Because it was like when I read the book. Just the same. You might think this is great. It's not. It's like 20 minutes of deja vu. Not pleasent. Though, must admit, cute as Audrey Tautu is, my Sophie Neuvau was cuter. Possibly because she was a redhead LIKE THE BOOK STATES! And had freckles.

Hollywood DaVinci Code meeting:
"Ok, so Sophie Neuvau is a redhead. Shit. Redheads aren't sexy. Ok, let's make her brunette"
"Brunette and freckles will look wierd"
"Ok, cut the freckles too"
"But then she'll look nothing like the character in the book"
"Fuck it, what do you want? The moon on a stick? Get Audrey Tautu to play her, she's short too. Let's really fuck Dan Brown's book up"

Apart from that, nothing has happened today. Watched The 40 Year Old Virgin again. Still funny the 2nd time around. And still my story, I fully believe. Without the happy ever after ending. I spent the rest of the day sleeping and dreaming. Had some VERY strange dreams.


25th July 2006: Ugh
Listening To: Wave 105 FM
I'm fucked. Two hard nights have left me a mess. With Krystian, the Polish fuck, on holiday, me and Malcolm were working on our own. 400 cases, which came in an hour late, because the driver was a complete and utter fucking moron. I'm in a really bad mood. Namely because I worked 2 cages an hour pretty much all night. Plus I did the milk and meat. Malcolm did the produce, the sandwiches, and a cage of Ambient. Bless him. Gotta give him credit, he did stay on for an extra hour to make sure there were only 2 cages left. And I don't envy him working with Andrei, the Romanian Bulldozer. Big of frame, slow of pace.

Right, I want to address a couple of things in the news. First - cyber bullying. I hate to say this, especially on this subject, but, sod cyber bullying. Focus on the real deal. E-mails can be deleted, text messages can too, or you can have them blocked. So can e-mails if you install a free bit of software or just use Thunderbird. The second...I forgot.

You know...I just watched The 40 Year Old Virgin, namely because I felt it might help me in some way. It didn't. He gets his happy ever after, and you know what? It was easy for him. For me, not so easy. I think I'm condemned to an existence without sex. Everyone else finds it easy, I don't. So, hey, bang goes my dreams of having kids and all the stuff that goes with it.

I just had a thought. I'm here, finishing off a bottle of wine, and it struck me. It's not easy for wine drinkers, you know? Say you find a wine you like. It's not like every bar has it. It's not like if you try and like Stella, most bars have it. In fact, with wine, there's no guarantee any bar will have it. It hit me when I realised this wine I am drinking, is actually really rather good. And maybe it'll be the only wine I drink. But you can't do that. The closest you can get is buying the type of wine in a bar. Still not guaranteed to be great.

24th July 2006: My god, Nikki from Big Brother is for sale on eBay...
For those of you who are not addicted to Big Brother, this is what Nikki looks like:

Scarily, she also looks like this item on eBay Just Don't ask why I was looking on eBay for this... It's a long story!


24th July 2006: Alife and arsehole co-workers
Listening To: Dido - Sand In My Shoes
Streaming Song Of The Day: Asshole - Denis Leary

Last night was possibly the crappest shift I've ever done. I had Hillbilly "Jimbob" Chris asking me stupid fucking questions all damned night. Examples are:

Me: "This trolley is overs"
Chris: "Shall I take it out the back then?"

Chris: "Dave, shall I put these Fosters Pint Cans out?"
Me: "How many are on the shelf"
Chris: "None"
Me: "Yeah, put as many as you can out"

But the best one by far was:

Chris: "Kev, when you come on nights we'll have to give you a bit of an initiation cerimony, what with you never havin' done nights and all" (this is actually how he speaks!)
Kev: "Oh yeah, like what?"
Chris: "I dunno...like locking you in the toilets, or locking you in the office. Or not turning up. Summit"
Kev: "Let me tell you something. I was doing nights for 18 months, so don't you fucking come here with your 'initiations'. Shut your fucking mouth and do some fucking work."
Chris: "Well, can't say I like your management style much. Bit unprofessional swearing at me on the shop floor."
Kev: "Well, I'm the duty manager and you're a CSA, so shut it and do your fucking job."
Note:
We love the Keverly. Especially for that little outburst. The "lazy little toerag" had worked 3 cages in 3 and a half hours last night.

Hmmmm...so what else is new? Not a lot. You might have noticed the new tab. The Alife Lab is my own little Artificial Life Lab where my various creatures and creations will live. So far, I've found a lovely little spider that spins a web and sits waiting for a fly. There is more to come. When I find a specific one that is stunning. But right now, I am sleepy, and need to sleep after tonight's hell of a night. We had 600 come in, and only had 4 cages left by 7am. Am knackered and hurt in many various places.

Oh, as a side note, I am thinking of putting some music online. My own music. Stuff I've composed. It's not exactly chart quality, but my stuff would be out there I guess...

And I've uploaded an updated version of the Alife Labs page containing a new creature. You should check it out...


23rd July 2006: Tell me it's not just me on this one...
Listening To: Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Ok, is it just me, or do these two songs sound almost identical? Snow Patrol, you gotta stop listening to CDs in the studio...

Oh, and McFly need to be shot. Covering Don't Stop Me Now by Queen? You're not good enough for that. You're nowhere near. Don't Stop Me Now? I think someone should. With brute force. I'm thinking Lawrence Dallaglio:

"McFly? Covering Queen? Come here pansy boys!"


23rd July 2006: Good thing/Bad thing
Listening To: Nothing
Streaming Song Of The Day:

So, Friday night was fun. Went out, met up with Mike and met some new people. Well. A lot of new people actually! Lauren (who is cute, too thin, blonde, and very with Hal), Hal who is a bit odd. Nice guy, but swings from ultra serious to making sexist comments (more on this later...). Plus met up with Al, who I sort of know, and now know better, and Belinda, who I had seen around but never spoken to. Anyway, our night with them was kinda cut short when Hal said "why is it that you're always in the wrong with women?" After a quick and firey exchange between Lauren and Hal, the guy sitting at the end of our table who was having a romantic night out with his girlfriend stood up and left. His girlfriend apologised to us, and went after him. So Hal got shouted at by Lauren and Belinda, and all four left. Ear*Candy were ridiculously arrogant too. Refusing to play until 10:10pm, because "too many people were in the Garden". And then they stopped at midnight. But I have to admit, they were incredible. Fusing together songs that you'd never think would go. One night I will steal a set of theirs and broadcast it here. Really does have to be heard to be believed when they're on their best form. Then me and Mike came home and drank Absinthe. Which was good. It really was. The lightning was very pretty. And then Mike fell asleep. I forgot this was the side effect of him drinking Absinthe. So he left. Fun.

And then the effect of my partying really hit yesterday evening. Woke up at 7:30pm. Coincidentally, the time I had eaten the day before, and not since. So my body decided to punish me for not eating and I was really quite ill. And no, it was not the alcohol. I know this for I did not drink anything that was flourecent yellow!

Onto work. Which was just infuriating. Krystian didn't show, mainly because he's a self smug little tosser who needs to be hit hard in the back of the head with a chainsaw. Oh, and because me and Andrei believe he's actually in Poland with Daria, his sister. But by a strange twist of fate, Chris came in. Which means we weren't short handed. The problem is, Chris is slow. Very slow. And he's now had his time to adjust. Problem is...I just don't have the heart to break the guy. He's such a nice, naive, innocent fella. Normally I'd be influcting mental torture on someone this slow...but he's nice. Friendly, and bless him, I think he is actually trying his best. This being said. One more "hmmmm...vot do ve 'ave here? Ze twopical fwuits. Zey vil go out, ja?" and I will actually pull an alcohol cage over on him. Yeah, german accents are funny. Sometimes. Not all through the delivery though. It's just grating. I really do think I need to do something to him. Not sure what. I know that my coffee disrupts his sleep. Might have to do that... Burn all the teabags in the store so he's forced to drink my Nightshift Blend. Hahahaha.... Or possibly just use my kidney-failure-inducing double espresso with milk and sugar. Or perhaps just wait for Kev to kick his arse into orbit in October. And for those interested - 169 Chilled, done in an hour and a quarter.

Oh, and I need to mention something about Friday. We got a load of ants drunk. I spilled some JD and coke and the ants went mad over it, slurped it up like no-ones business. So we gave them more. At the end, I swear they had a little nightclub down there.

Right....off to sleep.


21st July 2006: Busy busy busy
Listening To: INXS - Mystify
So, yesterday was hectic. I got 4 hours sleep, grabbed a shower, went and got my hair cut, came home for another shower, went to Southampton to meet up with Claire after her graduation, then went and had photos taken with quite possibly the most pretentious photographer I have ever met! Then went to work, where I found Krystian had pulled another sickie because he's an arse.

Anyway, I am back to blogging, which is all good I suppose. Had to blog today because I have an obligation, to you, my loyal readers. And I have stunning stuffs for you today. Not quite the free vibrator of last week, but still pretty good. FREE CHOCOLATE. Just go to http://www.dubble.co.uk/dubbleagents/ or click the link and sign up for a free bar of Fairtrade Dubble.

And I am still running the Friday Singalong, I have no idea how popular it is, because no-one seems to comment (hmph) so I'll keep running it. Today's song should please quite a few people I know who read this blog -

The Friday Singalong is: Shania Twain - Man I Feel Like A Woman


The Lyrics:
I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time

The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!

The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down

The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!

The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!

I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman

I think I know one person who is going to be singing to this one, and really won't need the lyrics!

<After a "small" nightcap>
The French are nuts. It's official. I just tried a French Absinthe cocktail, and they're insane. Coffee and Absinthe. It tastes foul. But...the only way I can describe it is like being hit in the head with a sledgehammer. The feeling is very nice. Ooohhhhh...I like the look of italics like this... It's like the text is smooooooth and 'laxing at the same time. I apologise for this ramble. I have a theory on this cocktail though. You only need one. This is why it tastes so crap. You get a sweet, nummy taste, and then the bitterness rushes in and takes over, and it burns as it goes down, but nicely. A lot like Brandy does when you taste it for the first time.

You know, I had plans for this post. I wrote stuf down to tell you all about last night, but at the moment, the ability to get up and walk to get my list escapes me. I'm currently slumped sideways in a deckchair in front of my computer. I'm also really quite drunk. BUT...and this is important...very alright with it. You see...what i wrote in my blog the other night, it's true! Everything is in love. But more so. Everything is connected by love. The flowers, they make us lovely oxygen, and we give them the gift of carbon dioxide. Just what each other needs. Affection at work. Then the bees go get the pollen from the flowers that they need to eat, so they can go have sex, but they also make us honey to take to our lovers in bed. And even the pesky little snails, they go and much lil tiny bits out of flowers, but not normally enough to kill them off, just enough to go find a girl snail to shag. I better get off this track before I begin hallucinating lil cupids shooting arrow at stuff!

Hmmmm...maybe this isn't so good. You see, I went to eBay to post a business proposition. But now I am reconsidering. You see, do I really want to be a rich entreprenuer? It's all capitalist isn't it? Making money off people who might not be able to afford it. The risk of people getting into more debt because of me.

18th July 2006: Brief site update...
Watching: Lost
Ok, so I figured I should update on the improvements to the site. I've been accepted as an iTunes affiliate, so as of tomorrow, you'll be able to buy the song of the day from iTunes. Also, I've added my entire online MP3 collection to the Music Tab. Internet TV has been working for a few days now, but improvements to the interface will probably happen over the weekend. The next thing I want to update is the About Jack Tab, but that'll happen tomorrow after I get my hair cut. I'm also going to transfer the archives from MSN Spaces AND Tripod to the Archives Tab. So, I am going to be a busy Jack for the next few days. Glad I've got a lot of spare time on my hands at the moment...

18th July: Sorry, but nothing like kicking a dumb animal
Listening To: Feeder - Buck Rogers
I was wandering over the Internet and read the story that Ashley "I'm not gay. I'M NOT!" Cole "duped" the press into thinking he was getting married at one place, when he actually got married at another. Come on. This is the Ashley Cole who is going to sue anyone who says he's gay, because he isn't. I want to put this to the test. Ashley, you big dumb animal -

You're obviously either a big fan of the 70s style, or you are really quite the gaylord. And as for Cheryl "I'll 'ave ya!" Tweedy, c'mon. She said it herself. "I'm looking forward to being a footballer's wife". Yeah. Fast cars. Big houses. Lots of cash. Lots of parties to get drunk at and shout racist abuse at the "hired help". Why wouldn't you want that? I'm just pointing out the facts here...

18th July 2006: No Title
Listening To: Beautiful South - A little time
Streaming Song: The Distillers - Beat your heart out.

You know, I was going to announce that I'm not going to be blogging much. But that won't help the reason I wasn't going to. My life is in turmoil, everything I held as stable is now changing, and I honestly don't know what to do. Who knows, maybe blogging will help me sort my head out. And yes, it's not just someone who will go unnamed who needs to sort their head out either.

Ugh...everything is so complicated. Work was fine. Got 479 cases done by 6:30am with just 3 of us. I was impressed. Though after work Krystian called me lazy. He needs to keep out of my way. Got sent home a few minutes early by Julie as there was nothing else for us to do.

Oh, and changes are coming to this Blog. Good ones (I think...) You're going to be able to buy the Streaming Song Of The Day via iTunes. I think it'll be quite a cool feature. Hopefully I'll also be able to offer TV shows for download too for $2 (£1) an episode. So like a whole season will cost $50 or £25. Less than a box set... The makers of those are really gonna have to work their arses off to win people back in a few years! I mean...think...Lost box sets cost £50 for an entire season. I could download an entire season for £25. Ok...no funky special features, but hey, special features ain't worth £25!

And there is one other feature coming to this blog. A game. At the moment, details are going to remain a bit sketchy, but it's going to be a multiplayer 3D game, that will be free, but advertising supported. It will run on any computer that has a Browser that supports Javascript and Layers, and will be a cross between a multiplayer game and a chat room. And there should be some very unique features included once my programming skills improve.

Right, I am off to sleep now. I want to wake up earlier than normal to get my game up and running, at least in a basic form.

Oh, by the way, have launched a shop selling promotional t-shirts and sweatshirts. Probably of no interest to anyone, but I figured it was worth a crack!

14th July: Insomnia is a bitch
I can't get to sleep. I've tried drugging myself, drugging myself more, drinking hot chocolate, smoking, and wearing an eye mask (I got one for christmas). Nothing is working. I even tried having a moment alone. Nothing. Well, ok, was too drugged to actually cum... And the ironic thing is, I am soooooooooo tired. Looks like another Friday night's plans ruined. But it's fine. I have a solution. I am getting chemical sleeping tablets. Only for use in a situation like today, but I AM getting them... Just needed to blog this moment of misery for a few people who I know read this blog...

14th July 2006: Feeling wired and naughty!
Listening To: Silence
Streaming Song Of The Day: I'll come to that later...

Right, new site, new stuff. Allow me to explain. As I have a lovely, fast new site, I have decided that new stuff needs to be introduced. Stuff Tripod would NEVER allow me to do. If you're easily offended, please, don't read any further, sex WILL be mentioned.

I have a free gift for all of you. No really. And quite a stunning one. Controvosy, thy name is Wired Jack. Ah, this would have given Tripod nightmares... So...who wants a FREE VIBRATOR? I'm being serious. I'm honestly giving away vibrators. If you don't believe me, click here and see for yourself.

Secondly, I am introducing a new feature. It was born out of yesterday's song. Banana Splits. Tell me you weren't singing along. Even a little? So, to raise people's spirits on what is traditionally a lousy day before the weekend, I bring unto you, The Friday Singalong. It's simple. One ridiculously well known song, accompanied by lyrics. Think of it as DIY kareoke. The inaugral song is - Hey Jude by the Beatles. If you've never sung along to this in a packed out bar, shame on you!

The Song:


The Lyrics:
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Right, now with that over with, I can tell you about the last 24 hours. I got 9 hours sleep, which was bliss, and went to work 2 hours later. Malcolm was in a shitty mood because he got a bollocking off of Pete yesterday morning. So he took it out on me and Krystian. THEN, we had Keith, who is quite possibly the most idle delivery driver known to man. After that, the delivery was easy. And Kev came in at quarter to six just as we were finishing. Also in a shitty mood. But just with me, because he got a bollocking off Pete for me leaving the cages out on the Forecourt. So he gave me a shitty time for about half an hour. So....I had to amuse myself. I did this by throwing the old lockers (identical to the new lockers it should be noted) into the forest. Interspersed by shouting insults at Krystian (who was leaving) through the Jet Wash. And then I annoyed Scott, who is back at work despite having a broken arm. For some reason, this means he gets to work 6 hour shifts, doing pointless jobs such as tearing out Shelf Edge Labels. Note, this is a job that requires 2 hands, and he copes. But the idle bastard can't work a till yet. Oh no. Far too strenuous for Julie's pet Son.

And now I have 3 days off work. And these three days shall be spent partying. Well...I need something to take my mind off the mess that is my personal life at the moment. Tonight, I am going to go watch Ear*Candy play. Tomorrow, I might have a barbque in my garden with much beer a flowing. And then Sunday I am going to go watch some accoustic band play at the Tripp. Haven't been able to do the last one for ages. Reminds me...must pay off my credit card bill sometime soon, so I can afford to go on holiday. I think maybe that will have to wait until the next pay day. Have been hammering my debit card a bit lately...


13th July 2006: Feeling bleugh
Listening To: Silence
Streaming Song Of The Day: Banana Splits Theme Song

Why Banana Splits? Well...it was in my head last night, and it refuses to leave, so I figured hearing it might get it out of my head. Also, this morning, I really need something to lift my spirits.

Had a pretty dull shift at work. Got the warehouse done by quarter to one because I was absolutely blindingly fast. Then the delivery was only 280, so we were done by quarter to six. Which wasn't great because Pete was in, and got us to do pointless little things, and generally managed us. Which again is pointless because we have routines. But I think Malcolm might be in trouble. Pete sent him a shitty letter on Monday, so yesterday he sent Pete a shitty letter back. Then this morning Pete called him in for a meeting. Much as he annoys me at times, if he's in trouble, I'll defend him. I don't want to see the guy sacked.

Oh, and finally got my purple sunglasses. Saw Johnny Depp wearing them in pics from the Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 premiere, and thought they looked stunning. I must thank Tabitha Trash at Grindhouse Glamour for being such a love. She sent me the wrong glasses by mistake, which I pointed out. So she sent me another pair, which were the right ones, and are stunning. Please, if you're remotely interested in gothy stuff, go to her eBay shop. It's full of very cool, very gothy stuff. And it's very reasonably priced too. My lovely purple sunglasses were £6.24 including postage! How good is that?

Click to see a bigger version

So...ummm...not a lot else going on. Today is my 10 month aniversary of being with Tizzie, although it's kind of under a dark cloud today. All my fault. In honesty, what I did, or rather, the way I worded it, was bad. And if she left me over it, she'd be well within her rights. It'd be a shame for it to end, but it wouldn't be exactly unexpected.

Ah well, I shouldn't dwell on it...what will be will be, and you can't change the past...

12th July 2006: Relaxed
Listening To: The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
Streaming Song Of The Day: Placebo - Twenty Years

I'm actully in a really good mood. All relaxed and chilled. Had an easy shift at work. We were all done by 6am, so spent an hour doing pointless little jobs for Laura. Funniest bit was I got sent home at 7am, because I had done all my required hoop jumping. However. Krystian got to stay behind and take all the bread off the shelves for the stocktakers. Why? Because his sister was an hour late for work, and Laura was determined to make him pay. Hahahahahahahaha.

Then came home and read some blogs. And began working on a new lil project. I'm trying to make something a bit innovative. And herein lines my problem. I'm full of stunning ideas, but bringing them to fruition, that is the key. And I appear to have lost the key. I was actually sort of getting somewhere with this new project, then found a fatal flaw, plus decided it looked a bit crap, so trashed it. I'm patient and persevere like that. But I will have a few other goes at making into something, and if I can't, someone else can make millions off it. Funny, it happens that way. A few years ago, someone was telling me to expand a site I had so that people could have their own pages, put stuff up etc. A few months ago MySpace got sold for billions. Ah well...no use crying over wasted ideas...

Right, today I must go to bed before 11am. I get so caught up doing random stuff that I forget to sleep, then sleep in late, and get annoyed I had no free time in the evening!

Oh, and I must thank DS for her lovely comment on the new layout. I'm loving it too, because without having to use tables, the code is so much faster to edit, and I think it looks much funkier now.


11th July 2006: I'm so sorry...
Listening To: The sound of the fucker who has been digging/drilling/sawing/annoying me for MONTHS
Streaming Song Of The Day: You and Me song - Wannadies (ironic considering this is my "launch" day)

I want to apologise for yesterday's depressy rant. No, I'm not back on the anti depressants (over 100 are on their way though). I just behaved appallingly last night. Mainly because Tizz was angry with me, then I argued with Ale, and the two stable influences in my life were both turning on me. Anyway, what will be will be.

So, last night was crap. Malcolm flipped between funny, arsey, and demanding all night. In a sort of "roll a 6 to find him in a good mood" way. Twice I was told to make him coffee. But, in fairness, all in all, he was pretty leniant for the rest of the night. Still can't wait for the return of the Almighty Kev. I may have to begin work on a shrine...

So anyway...we got 300 cases in. And to be fair, I did a lot of it. At least 100 chilled. And the meat. And a lot of the Ambient. Actually, I was pretty stunning. Notably because before the delivery I was too depressed to talk to Malcolm or the customers. And during the delivery I was so wired I didn't have time to talk to Malcolm or the customers. Said it before, will say it again. Espresso is the way ahead.

So...today I plan to sleep. A lot. Well. Maybe until like 4ish. 6ish at the latest. And then, I am going to fire up my poker analysis software and have a marathon session on PKR. I had a go last night. Had to venture into the no limit tables. Hate them. But....it was stunning. The level of interaction between players is just...incredible. I had to leave because I ran out of play money, but when I did, the guy opposite me taunted me with a "bring it on" hand gesture. How cool is it that you can do that to another player? I have a feeling I have found my spiritual poker home.

Oh, and check this out: http://www.cognitiveculture.com/transparentcity.htm. To explain what is is would take too long, but, it's a stunning idea. I really hope he develops this, because I'd love to see the results.

Quick last note. I went to check on the Arsenic auction on eBay. It went for 48p ($0.88). This worried me. So I went looking for other úber dangerous stuff. Like...well...uranium. I FUCKING FOUND IT! I want people to verify that I am not mad...please look here. Sod the terrorists going to Russia looking for suitcase sized nukes, they just need to go shopping on eBay for an afternoon and they could make a dirty bomb...Christ...what is the world coming to when eBay doesn't vet fucking URANIUM!


10th July 2006: Mixed signals
Watching: Pokerface
Streaming Song Of The Day:

There frequently comes a point in time when I think I should just vanish into the ether. One throw away comment, and my world implodes. I have Ale on my back, Tizz pissed off with me, and to be honest, vanishing from both their lives often seems like the best thing to do. I'm caught between my lover, and the woman who used to be my lover, who I am still really good friends with. And both of them hate the situation I'm in with the other.

Perhaps I should just stop blogging altogether. All I know is that this entire situation is dragging me down, and making me feel like shit. Funny...a couple of days ago I was going to say how happy and content I was not taking my anti depressants, how my mood has stabilised without them, and how I'm no longer worrying about me and Tizz. Pah. Now I'm depressed because quite honestly, I can't see how I can keep Tizz.

It's hopeless. Completely hopeless. So if I stop blogging for a week or so, don't reply to texts, and don't reply to e-mails, don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid. Perhaps just vanishing out of everyone's life.

8th July 2006: Jack's Blog 2.0 :>Online
Listening To: Random sounds around my conservatory
Streaming Song Of The Day:
Reading web design blogs is always risky for me. You see what happens when I start? I go and redesign the whole blog... But I do really like the way this has turned out. I think it looks a lot cooler than the first incarnation. Less cluttered, and easier to find your way around. Plus if you don't want to see something, you don't have to.

And this is just the start...

I'm planning on bringing some really cool features to the blog. Like user customisation. So you get to pick the colour scheme for the blog. And combined with Cookie technology, it should stay that way for every visit. I might even fiddle with being able to change fonts etc. Font sizes certainly.

<6 hours sleep later>
So...considering I designed this new interface whilst on MANY sleeping tablets, I think I did a good job. I was finding it really hard to sleep today, mainly because my mind was so busy. So many thoughts and ideas rushing around. It's like trying to sleep in a room full of people talking, with the people pushing TV sets of new ideas right up against your eyes. And even if you close your eyes, you still see and hear the people. Not good. When I'm like that, I have to kind of shut it all down, force myself to stop thinking. This is where the sleeping tablets help. They kind of numb my mind, so I don't have thoughts.

Oh, and I need to comment on Kalms Sleep. I love the original Kalms. And essentially, this is what Kalms Sleep are. They have an extra ingredient, and another version of one in there (hops I think) but they seem to be essentially the same drug. You just take more. But they cost like £2($4) more. It even says "take 4-5 tablets before going to bed". Do that with Kalms, and you get the same reaction - sleep. But on the pack of Kalms, it says "do not exceed the recommended dose". I smell a scam...